Well tomorrow my mom is returning to her home... She has only been there a few days here and there since my Dad passed away.
The rest of the time she has stayed with one of us kids. I'm not sure that I'm ready for her to go. I know that I need to let her go... She has been so depressed, I know that it will feel better for her to be back where she had her life with him and I know this is part of our healing process, But... I can't help but feel sad that she is leaving.
I just miss my dad so much, I think it feels like when she's here it's just like one of her visits when she comes and stays to scrapbook and he's at home...
But he's not at home... My Aunt and cousins have totally gutted her bedroom and made it "new" for her. She couldn't bare to be in their room without him. So now it's different and they took care of his clothes for her. I think that should help...
I know that time is the only thing that can make us all feel better... But I have to admit I'm so tired of feeling so empty!
Scrapbooking doesn't even really make me excited anymore... I want it to but I just can't get into it.... Maybe I just have to try a little harder... Maybe some of the new product will help get me there??? I don't know, I do know that he loved that I took so many pictures and he loved that I scrapbooked... Maybe that's why I'm having trouble with it... I got so much joy showing him my stuff....
I don't think I should blog at night anymore, that's when I think about him the most and it makes for some depressing blog entries...
Update on my Surgery:
I feeling good and getting stronger and stronger every day...I've lost 48 pounds since I got out of the hospital and I'm starting to incorporate pured-(sp?) foods... Of course I gained 18 pounds of liquid while in the hospital. But I'm very happy with my progress this far.
Until Next time...
Me
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1 comment:
Hi Carla,
It sounds like you and your family are all there for one another, and it sounds like you're slowly making it through this initial grieving period. It DOES get easier but you'll never stop missing him. I lost my mom so long ago, and there are periods of time where I don't think about her too much, but each year, I realize I'm becoming more and more like her. It's like she was living in me all that time but only as I mature I get to see glimpses of her. Take care of yourself! Hope you're feeling physically well, too. Jenny
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